Half of the Moms reading this will relate, the other half will say, “What the heck took you so long!” But no matter which side you are on, its always tough leaving your baby for the first time. This weekend, I will be leaving my 17 month old not for one night but for two whole nights. With this being my third baby, you’d think I would happily head out of town carefree and ready to party. Yet that cannot be further from how I feel.
While she will be in the very capable hands of her Grandparents who will soak in her snuggles, hugs, and kisses and surely enjoy their special time together, I can’t help but worry. But not about what you may think. I don’t worry about her safety or if she’ll behave or be hard to handle, I worry that she won’t miss me.
You see, for nearly 2 years, I’ve been the most important person in her world and she has been in mine. Of course, I love the rest of my family more than anything, but the connection Baby D and I have right now is something she cannot have with anyone else. She grew in my belly without a day apart for nine months and 17 months later on the outside world, we haven’t spent more than 8 hours away from one another. I worry, can I enjoy myself while the little person that is so much of my life is not with me? Can I find a semblance of the person I was a little more than 2 years ago? Might I muster the courage to perhaps experience a first post-baby hangover (3 drinks and thats pretty much guaranteed these days)? Can I keep a smile on my face when a piece of my heart is not with me? Will she ask about me, will she sleep ok without being put to bed by me or better yet, will I sleep okay knowing that I was not soothed to near-sleep by sitting in her darkened room, her nursing off to dreamland with the white noise hushing away in the background?
Her umbilical cord was cut 17 months ago but I’ve so embraced the invisible portion thats still left us connected. This weekend, that will be cut too.
While I’ve done this before at some point with our two older children, there’s something very different when you do it with your last. So what’s taken me so long? This weekend will make it official, she is no longer a baby.
So, rather than continue the sappy road I’ve already paved with this blog, I’ll share a few of the tactics I plan to use to get me through the weekend and maybe just realize, its not too bad to have a little separation now and again.
Feel free to share some advice to others on how you handled your first time away from your babe with fellow Moms on the aquaBelly Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/AquaBellyFitness